Week 2 in queue

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Week 1 in the queue- Lularoe

So we have been in the queue waiting to onboard for ONE week now.  It has been the longest week ever!  However; we have been getting things ready like crazy!  Last week, my husband and I sat down and made a list of things that we need to do before my inventory arrives and it is quite a bit!  This week we will not be working much on that list since we are hosting a birthday party Saturday for our four youngest daughters but as of next Monday the fun will start!

So far we have made sure that our financing is in order for when it is time to order our inventory.  I’ve opened up a new savings account and a checking account for our lularoe business only!  I have started a facebook page and began adding friends and family.  Once my inventory is on the way, I will start my facebook page where all my pop ups will take place!  Right now on my facebook page I am kinda just blogging, posting photos, and introducing the product!  I have created my instagram, twitter, and my youtube channel!  I am awful at videos, I would rather hide behind my keyboard like I’m doing right now, but I think it will be good for my self esteem to get myself out there and step out of my comfort zone.  I actually worked on a youtube video yesterday for hours but decided to blog instead.  HAHA!  I just could not bring myself to be okay with my video BUT- I will promise to have a video recorded and posted on my channel before next wednesday at the latest!!

The family and I took a nice trip to Ikea saturday!  We wanted to check out some furnature for our new lularoom and get some ideas.  We have a long list of things we want to get to organize and make it look so much nicer in there!!  We have some great ideas of things to do to our lularoom and I can not hardly wait to get started!!   In the meantime I have been watching every youtube channel I can find on lularoe, I have been on every webinar that has been available and I have joined as many groups for queuebies, that I can find!  I will also start this week ordering free mailers from USPS so that I have a good stock ready for my launch!

So by next monday I will start to clean out our room.  This room used to be a toy room for our kids but when they proved they could not handle that, we packed it up and moved them to their rooms and it became a kinda catch-all, office, craft room.  So week 3 will be cleaning things out!  So that in a nutshell is what we have been doing!  If you have any questions about our journey please let me know!  I would be happy to help!!

 

Our new business adventure

Being a stay at home mom can be really challenging.  If I could give advice to all stay-at- home mom’s it would be: #1 have a schedule or a routine, and #2 find a hobby, or MLM business that makes you feel like you have accomplished something.  Being a stay at home mom is so hard, especially in the beginning if you are used to working.  You no longer have something in your life that shows immediate results, you can no longer walk away saying, “wow, I am great at my job,” not because you are not, but because being a stay at home mom has a way of making the word failure appear at the front of your mind every day!  Once you think you have it down, once you feel like you have conquered the terrible two’s or the awful three’s, they hit four, and so on.  Every day, every season, is a new challenge and so far in my 10 years of being a mom most of those challenges make me feel like I have failed, or am unappreciated and a woman can not be at her best if she is always defeated!

I’ve done many business adventures in my 10 years of being a stay at home mom.  Most of them were successful for a time but then the hype died down and I lost the passion for my product.  I have been a Jamberry Nail Wrap consultant for almost two years now.  I love jams and LOVE to do parties.  I think there is nothing better than a Jamberry party, I love to give things away and play games; however, when there are no more parties being booked- it is time to move on.  My goal is to find something that will last, something that is well loved, and something that people WANT me to come and do parties for them!  While I am still planning on doing jamberry and sticking around for my faithful customers I still have, I will be moving my focus more over to LuLaRoe!

I have thought of joining LuLaroe for a while now, but had reservations of jumping into yet another business.  After a lot of prayer, we decided it would be a great thing for our family.  Not only is this something I think I will love, but I also love that my girls can join in the fun!  Doing LuLaRoe is a family business, not just an individual business!  My husband will be working with me behind the scenes to help with the business side of things, my girls will be helping as well to get shipments out and in the process, we are doing something fun as a family, they are learning how to run a business, and making profit from the business is just an extra incentive.

I am not “OFFICIAL” yet.  The way LLR works is when you complete your paperwork you are put into a queue to “onboard.”   This waiting period can take anywhere from 6-12 weeks!  When my day comes I will receive a phone call from the main office and they will order my initial inventory!  It really is a bit of a blessing that I have those weeks to get myself in order.  We need to get so many things done and organized in our home so we have space for everything!  We will have a LLR Room off the front of our house.  We have a room that used to be a garage, but was turned into a living area.  Over the next few weeks we will be transforming this room into our LLR room with paint, and fixtures and changing area!  It has a door where customers can come to straight from the driveway!  I have also begun my business page on facebook which you can find here    But there is a lot more to do!!

I am so excited about this next adventure!

 

Fear NOT!

It is a bitter-sweet moment when God gives you a new self-realization and you realize you have in fact been sinning OVER and OVER for the last ….FOREVER!  Bitter because, I mean who wants to be a sinner?  Sweet, because he loves me enough to soften my heart to hear his voice, and his calling of morality.

I am in my third week of Theology 202.  This week is all about sin.  My coursework goes through what the origin of original sin is.  I came across something in my text book, A Theology for the Church by Daniel Akin, that I never considered before in the past, PRIDE!  I always considered pride to be something more like an attitude of I am the best, I am the smartest.  I never really considered this as something I may actually struggle with because-well, I don’t think those things about myself.  I have never thought of pride the way it was described in my text which said,”Pride is attempting to displace God with self or living as if there were only the self and no God.”

For the last 14 years AT LEAST, I have been living my life in complete fear!  It is so restricting and confining but no matter what I have done, I just could not be released from daily fears.  One in particular is other people driving.  I was in a series of car accidents when I was in my early 20’s that were not my fault and it ingrained irrational fear inside of me that I can’t shake!   My husband is a fantastic driver; however, every where we go- I need to drive the car because I feel like we are safer!  I make sure I watch people around us, and back off from people who are driving crazy, and I also know that if someone is heading straight for my husband and child- I can turn the car so it can hit me instead.  I am in control of their safety.  In the meantime- I have been “displacing God” with myself in order to make sure this is possible.  In the past I have repeated verses about fear over and over in my head, but they never really helped long term.  BUT- when I realized this week that I have been actually “DISPLACING GOD” and “REPLACING HIM WITH MYSELF” I was devastated and it made it a lot easier to let go of this fear.   God is our protector, not me!  No matter how great I drive, or turn the wheel, or watch for other drivers around me I will NEVER be in control- it has always just been a way to suppress the symptoms of my fear.  Ultimately- I can’t control anything only God is in control.  “All human sinfulness ultimately arises from the failure to let God be God” (Akin).  It isn’t the fear that is sinful, but the act of trying taking control of our own destiny to stop that fear that is.

 

 

 

Adjusting to a new normal

After every pregnancy it is like there is a reset button that someone presses.  No matter how disciplined my kids are, no matter how strict our schedule is, and no matter how consistent we are with our daily lives- everything turns to chaos for several months!

Month one is the worse!  It is the month where I have to rest and have no choice about it.  This means no school and minimum chores!  The kids take advantage of the no school in the mornings and think they can replace that with TV instead, and then they each throw their version of a tantrum when I make them turn it off and at least do their chores that day!  Then they lose out on TV because of their attitudes, along with tablet time, and are forced to go outside and play!  (gasp!!!)  They fight over every little thing!  She touched me, She said I had a stinky butt, she made a face at me, she moved two spots to the left, she isn’t doing HER chores, she she she she she…..  it is EXHAUSTING to the point where I just give up disciplining and tell them to go to their room and there is peace for at least 10 minutes!

Month 2 after baby, well it is still hard but you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel!  I am feeling more active, I am able to get back to my daily duties as mom and housewife.  I am anxious to get so much done that it gets a little frustrating having to stop and feed the baby every 2 hours when I am ALMOST FINISHED!  But- once I sit down and look at that sweet face, I am thankful for the break!  The kids are doing better at their chores, the TV only comes on about once a week (trying to test me).  I still have to make a sweep of the house when they come in and tell me “I’m finished with my chores, can I go outside and play?  or Can I play on a tablet?” because they are not doing them correctly still!  I have to send them back many times over and over again to pick up the trash under the couch, or remove the underwear and socks they stuffed into the bookcase.  The bickering has settled a little, but not as much as I would like, and we are starting up some new routines and learning what needs to happen to get our home and life back in order and have peace!

Peace has been my ultimate goal for a year!   I felt like last year we really found it about a month before the baby came, but then like I said- everything went into reset mode and we had to start all over.

It used to be, my solution for this amount of chaos was stricter rules, more discipline!  But recently I realized that is not what my girls are needing in this season.  We still have the same rules, same discipline, but my older girls are entering into the pre-teen years and are really needing their mommy right now.  They are both struggling with the changes they are going through and are very sad and emotional that they are starting to grow up!  My 6 year old 5  year old are struggling with having to give more effort with chores around the house, my 4 year old finally is almost completely potty trained after two years of constant struggle, my 2 and 1 year old just wants to snuggle, and well my newborn- snuggle and eat!  Everyone just needs mommy!!  So- what do you do when you have 8 children and only one mommy?  That is what I’ve been asking the Lord for a while!!  And here is what I have been learning:

  1. Having a clean house helps there to not be so much chaos but being so strict and hard on yourself to have everything looking perfect all the time- makes mommy stressed, grumpy, and very unhappy!  While it results in a beautiful home, and impresses people when they come over that I can keep a clean home while raising 8 children- it is not beneficial to any of us!  I’ve realized that just keeping things picked up off the floor, dishes, and laundry always going, kids chores done, and me doing one extra chore each day- my home will not stay the way I prefer but it will be clean enough to live comfortably without the chaos; I will be happier and so will my kids.

2. Facebook is evil!  When I think about my life before social media I was much happier!  Everyday there is something in my news feed that causes me to be scared of the world we live in, compare myself to other moms, have low self esteem, feel like I’m doing this mom thing completely wrong, second guess my life choices, feel like I have no friends, feel like I have a ton of friends, feel degraded, disrespected, praised, feel like a supermom, feel like a crappy mom, have anxiety, and then by the end of the week it just makes me feel depressed!  Talk about a roller-coaster!   Yet- as a stay at home mom, it is my outlet, my connection with the world, my only way of talking to another adult during a day filled with children.

3. If someone comes over to my house and notices there is something that needs cleaned, repaired, scrubbed, washed down, bleached, organized, put away and they make me feel like a failure because I haven’t gotten to that thing yet- then they aren’t truly there to see ME!  I have got to realize myself that it is OK for me to not have my home in complete pristine shape- it really just isn’t realistic in my situation right now and I am coming to terms with that slowly!  I am someone who is very priorities driven and if that thing that is noticed is not done- it isn’t a top priority!

4. My kids need the Lord.  Don’t get me wrong, they go to church, they LOVE GOD so much!!  They want to please God in all they do!   They have been begging me to get baptized recently (which I need to make a priority soon).  We learn about God during homeschooling, and church, but they really need a deeper relationship with the Lord so that they can begin to become refined.  The Lord has really put on my heart recently that I need to take each child every morning individually, before they start their day, hold them in my lap and pray with them. This I feel needs to be a new TOP priority!

5. During the afternoon each day- instead of freaking out because chores are not done or school work isn’t finished.  We will take a break and play a board game together for 30-45 minutes and then when we are finished, I will send them back to complete their chores and work.  Some days have been so chaotic with me constantly being on top of them to finish up, pick up, and clean up, that we stopped having fun around here!

6. That bring me to my last one!  Find happiness in the midst of chaos.  Let go of things that don’t matter and enjoy my life.  Instead of getting upset that they are playing in the dirt outside and are a mess and that means a later bedtime because of baths- I’m going to just be thankful they are playing together outside and happy they are having fun!  Instead of getting upset that instead of watering the garden they sprayed all their sisters with the hose and now everyone has to change clothes and that is more laundry- I’m going to be happy that they were being playful with their sisters and not fighting!  I am determined to be happy in the mist of chaos because with 8 children under 10 some days that is all you can do!

 

 

 

Every little girl can be Cinderella…..

I spent the day with my 7 year old today.  We left late this morning, grabbed some lunch and headed to the movie theater to see the new “Cinderella” movie.  I have LOVED the story of Cinderella since I was a little girl, I think all little girls at one time want to be Cinderella!

Recently we have been running into some new avenues with parenting that we didn’t expect for a while.  “CRUSHES!”  Why does my belly feel funny when that boy is around?  Why are we saving kisses for marriage? Why should I not hug a boy?    These questions are so hard for me to answer in 9 year old language!  It is really hard for me to explain certain things to a child who isn’t old enough to know the big picture yet, but still becoming curious about God’s design.  In my mind since my oldest was born I’ve pictured her growing up and finding a Godly man and having the perfect fairy tale marriage…then I say to myself, “Life isn’t a fairy tale.”

I heard this all the time growing up!  “Life isn’t a fairy tale!”  “Marriage isn’t a fairy tale!” “Marriage is hard work!” But I realized today while watching “Cinderella” that- that is EXACTLY what my girls should be looking for and nothing less!!  Why not teach them that their own love story can really be exactly like Cinderella?

Even in a fairy tale, there is hurt, there is loss, there is struggle!  Cinderella lost both her parents and was left to be a servant in her own home!  She wasn’t allowed time for mourning, she still was forced to get up every day and go to work!  She was isolated, lonely, and treated like dirt!  But still– in the midst of the storm she found joy!  She marveled at God’s creation, the gardens, the animals, the birds of the air.  She didn’t wallow in her sorrow of how miserable her life was, but she was joyful always, and made the best of her situation.  She wasn’t a fan of her “boss” or step-mom but she still treated her with respect because she was her superior.  She made promises to both her parents and she was vigilant in keeping her word to them.

Each meeting she had with the prince, you could see by his look how much he loved her.  It showed in his actions towards her and his words that he chose.  He only touched her a twice before they were married.  While they were dancing his touch was respectful, and appropriate for dance.  It was obvious that he was being gentle with her, and treated her like she was delicate.  The next time he touched her was to hold her hand after he had asked her to marry him.  He did not kiss her till they were married.  He did not speak any ill word to her, but only words to encourage her, lift her up, build her up, and make her feel how loved she is, he accepted her for who she was and didn’t need her to be someone else for him to love her.

The Prince was being pushed to marry someone he did not love.  Someone he knew was not God’s best for him.  She was beautiful but there was something not quite right about it.  His father was dying and most people want to be married and have their parents present for their weddings but The Prince knew that it wasn’t right.  He chose to wait for God’s best and not go off and choose just anyone because he was tired of waiting for her.  They searched the entire kingdom for the girl whose foot was the exact size to fit that slipper perfectly.  He could have picked someone who was close to fitting it, or whose foot fit but was really tight….but he waited…And soon he found his princess and the wait was completely worth it.

God has a spouse out there for my girls.  The perfect husband for them!  A prince who will carry around a glass slipper and wait for God to bring them together!  God’s best, is out there for them and if they guard their hearts from all the other glass slippers that don’t fit correctly, and avoid giving away pieces of their hearts to others, one day- they will have a glass slipper of their own.  One day, they will have God’s best!!

My girls CAN have a Happily Ever After!  Yes of course marriage isn’t easy, but when two people know that they were made specifically for one another, and that they waited patiently for one another, then no one else will ever do!  They can work through the most difficult of circumstances, they can have a fairy tale romance.

My husband is completely without a doubt my best friend, my biggest fan, my greatest love, and God’s best for me.  Of course we have disagreements and get angry with one another but WILL live happily ever after because NO ONE ELSE will ever be able to fill my glass slippers for him, or me.  No other glass slipper given to me by anyone else will ever fit perfectly, or as comfortably as the one he has given me.  HE is my prince charming, and God gave me a real life fairy tale.

No little girl should ever give up their dream to be Cinderella!  Every girl is a princess of God and if she keeps her Joy, if she keeps her promises to the Lord, if she keeps her standards high according to God’s word–I truly believe that having a fairy tale romance can be realistic.  One day she will find her Prince!

We can’t escape God…

me and grandma 2

It has been a few weeks now since my Great-Grandma passed, yet I can’t stop thinking about her in my daily thoughts; even more now than when she was here on earth!  The silence throughout facebook, is heartbreaking.  Though my family is far away I can hear them crying and mourning through the many posts of her photos and videos of her singing!  Our family group page was quiet till last week; just stillness. We all miss her!

In our home, there is a little less quiet.  Our lives have gone on, homeschooling must still happen, chores are being complete, business is being done, and there are seven kids to feed three times a day.  Busyness has stolen my time for mourning, so in the wee hours of the night, I sit here tapping the keys of my laptop, spilling it out to the world because I haven’t had time to stop and reflect about it during the day.

I think about her house, sitting there empty after all these years and I can’t get past it!  It was hers for so long the thought of it not being a place of refuge, a meeting place, a place of worship, a home to my aunts and uncles, is unbearable.  Will I ever get to see so many of my family members together in one place ever again, like I would, being at her house?

My Grandma, like I said before, had a way of making everything beautiful because of her love for Christ.  She showed me something very profound in her last days.  When our family went to visit her three weeks before she passed, she had dementia and couldn’t see very well.  I sat next to her and held her hand.  She was 98 years old, weak and tired, but had a stronger grip than that of a grown healthy adult male!!  It was as if she wanted to show us how much she loved us through how hard she squeezed our hand!  Some of the conversations we had went something like this:

Grandma, “How old are you now?”

ME, “Grandma, I am 32 years old!”

Grandma, “wow, you are a BIG baby now aren’t you!”  “I think I am 94, but I’m not sure, isn’t that awful?”

Me, “awe, no Grandma, that isn’t awful!”

Grandma, “Who are you honey?”
Me, “Grandma it’s (my name), I’m Debbie’s daughter!”
Grandma, “OH, honey do you remember when you were a little girl at my house and you told me, “grandma when I grow up I want to be a Christian,” do you remember that?”

She would have moments of clarity, then moments of confusion.  But one thing I noticed was that not ONCE did she forgot who Jesus was!  There was not one time she forgot what he did for her, and what his word said, how to be a Christian!  She may not have remembered her age, or who I was, or that I was not a baby anymore, but she remembered who her Heavenly Father was at all times.  She remembered every word to every Hymn, and scripture, and what The Lord has done for her!

As a created being, we were made to crave a relationship with The Lord!  We were created to worship God!  Without him we are never whole, we have a void that can never be filled with earthly things.  No matter how much our spouse or children love us, we will always feel empty inside unless we allow God to fill that missing piece.  A telephone that was created to ring, doesn’t fulfill its calling if it never rings; just as we won’t fulfill our calling if we don’t make Jesus Lord of our life.  My Grandma knew this!  She knew it was true for her own life, as well as ours!

In one of my bible classes I took at Liberty a few years ago, I was taught that once you truly experience the presence of Jesus in your life – you will never be able to turn from Him!  I’ve taken that statement and I have studied it by putting it beside some of my family who I was told walked away from God, some of my friends, whom I witnessed walk away from God, and even a time in my life, when I was younger, when I walked away from God.  I came to the conclusion that either none of us ever REALLY experienced the true presence of the Lord like we thought we did, OR none of us ever REALLY could get away from Him like we wanted too!  For myself, I never got away from him.  Sometimes it is easier in life to run away, ignore God, and live the life you want to live apart from him.  Living for God isn’t easy!  But you will never be complete and whole until you do!

When we were visiting my grandma I saw this statement in a new light.  Every conversation she had was about Jesus, every song was about Jesus, every goodbye was I’ll see you at the pearly gates!  Even dementia, couldn’t take my grandma away from the knowledge of the truth!  My grandma was so passionate about bringing the word of God to others, even in those last few weeks of her life, that you would often find her having a family member kneel beside her bed so she could pray with them!  Now that is a woman after God’s own heart!

I desperately want to be like her!  I want my children to know the Lord because of my love for him!  I want to be their rock!  I want to be so full of the joy of the Lord that I am leading others to Christ till the day I die!  I want my passion for God to be so overwhelming that people can’t even be with me without feeling the presence of God.  When you say my name, I want my children to think “my mom loved the Lord” just like I do when I think of her!  I want to pass down her legacy!

It has been tough for me watching my family being still these last few weeks- and not be close enough to visit them.  I know it is because they are still mourning, and some feel down and are trying to figure out life without her here.  I’m the opposite, I want to tell the world about her- that is how I celebrate her life!  I wish I could have remembered every word she said to me those last few days I saw her!  There was just so much said, and so many moments I wish I could have frozen forever!

I know that when it comes time for me to enter the kingdom of Heaven, she will be the first face I see waiting on me at the gates!

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